Friday, December 30, 2016

In Auspicious Times

Tonight is new year’s eve
And I’ve been counting down since I met you
Since you kissed me in the elevator
And breathed new life to me
And said you had a girlfriend that you would never leave

When they ask how I will live without you, I say “easily”
You were a gift from God
A mirage to get me through the desert
But my soul is no longer dry
My spirit no longer broken

Yesterday, when I awoke
My face was streaked with tears
I must have dreamed that you were real
That you could actually stay
But you chose not to

When you said you loved me
I did not say it back
I was too busy trying to memorize the weight of your arm around my waist
The rhythm of your heart against my ear
For the next time I need an amulet

I peeled myself from your embrace
Gently, but deliberately
The way you pull a bandaid from a child’s skinned knee
And I smiled
Because it happened
Because it’s over
Because I no longer have to bear the weight of your betrayal
Or the risk of your seed

My pendeja card expires
This new year’s eve.

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